That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
