Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
