That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
