life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she pinky promised me she was 18
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Enjoy the penises
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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