I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm like, not good at living.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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