I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
