Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
