So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
