last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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