Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
