I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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