Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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