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the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
