I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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