I cockslap morals
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
