Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
