dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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