One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
