I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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