Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
