:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Can you bring me the toilet please
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
