idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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