I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
