i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
