I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
