bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
