It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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