No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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