SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
