I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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