I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
