Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
