So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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