If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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