Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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