Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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