He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
