well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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