it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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