Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
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he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
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Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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