hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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