If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
