When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
