We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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