So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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