Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
