My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
