haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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