Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
