I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
