I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
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