so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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