I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
