Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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