I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
