smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize