Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize