suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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