Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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