Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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