Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
