this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
