This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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