best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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