Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
