Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
